Monday, April 12, 2010

Bitten by a Vampire

* Credit for UFC 112 photos used in this piece go to the UFC.

Matt Hughes kicking Renzo Gracie in the leg, UFC 112

Watching Renzo Gracie get kicked continually in the left leg by Matt Hughes in UFC 112 was like watching the opening of the kung fu horror film Encounter of the Spooky Kind, where Sammo Hung's character "Courageous" Cheung has a premonition about his becoming a victim of a voodoo murder conspiracy.

In his nightmare, Cheung, who prides himself as the bravest man in town, gets ambushed by two killer vampire zombies. The zombies tear chunks of flesh off his lower right leg and left butt cheek, and chomp another double portion off his right thigh.

One vampire threatens to choke Cheung dead, but Cheung breaks the choke and runs away. He wakes up screaming, in what looks like another day arguing with his sneaky wife.

What started out as three hard kicks to Gracie's left leg in the final minutes of the first round got progressively worse throughout the subsequent rounds until Hughes vs. Renzo turned into a full-fledged chopping of Renzo's lower extremity.

The chopping administered by Hughes may have carried no homicidal intent, but looking at Renzo in the third round, he may as well have been a victim of attempted murder by means of black magic.

The first few slashes attempted by Hughes within the first 1:10 of the final round clearly hobbled Renzo. Ten more chops later, the hacking job was complete, Renzo no longer able to stand or defend himself properly.

Bloody vampire bite from Encounter of the Spooky Kind

So 25 seconds before sunrise, with his victim trapped against the fence, Count Hughes started unloading a double-jab-double-one-two-uppercut combination.

Twenty seconds before sunrise, the fight was over.

Renzo Gracie had been bitten by a vampire.

We all get bitten by vampires sometimes.

As determined as BJ Penn was, he had his blood sapped by Frankie Edgar. Penn frustration showed in his face as he tried in vain to land a solid combination on the quicker and more active Edgar.

Frustration turned into what looked like resignation in Penn's body language in between the rounds and after the fight.

In the Silva-Maia main event, it was hard to tell who was the real victim of a vampire. For the first three rounds, Demian Maia looked like he was being chased by murderous zombies after being clowned by Anderson Silva.

Then all of a sudden Silva just stopped fighting.

Referee Dan Miragliotta giving Anderson Silva and Demian Maia instructions, UFC 112

A bizarre fight to say the least, but it wasn't the first time, so I wasn't surprised.

However, Frankie Edgar's upset win and the strangeness that swept over Silva-Maia threw my predictions out the window.

I too was bitten by a vampire - just like the combatants of UFC 112.


  1. Great analogy...Saturday night was definitely a bizarre night of fighting. And that scene from Encounters of the Spooky Kind is AWESOME.

  2. I think we can all agree on the strangeness of Silva-Maia.

    But speaking of the opening scene from Encounter of the Spooky Kind, the scene is straight up...spooky.

    There's a strong element of humor to the cut, so it's a different type of horror from something like Saw, but the visual effect of how those skeletal hands creep up and tear flesh and chomp on Sammo's right thigh is just spooky.

    As for the movie as a whole : Encounter of the Spooky Kind is a splendid mix of kung fu, horror and comedy. Sammo Hung's physical and comedic performances are just sublime.

    If you're unfamiliar with Sammo Hung, let me know. I can recommend some great works of his to you.


© 2008-2011. All Rights Reserved.

All brands, slogans and articles are properties of HotNonPorn Productions.

Photos and videos are properties of their respective owners.

HotNonPorn? | The King | Subscribe | Tweet With Us | Contact Us

Disclaimer | Privacy Policy