Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Brock Lesnar, GSP and Co. gangbang the NCAA

* Credit for photos used in this piece go to Club Jenna

Jenna Jameson passes the torch to the NCAA.

You know what UFC 100 reminds me of?

It reminds me of a big porn flick, with Brock Lesnar, GSP and Co. as the big-you-know-what porn stars and the NCAA as the porn starlet who can take it all like a superwoman.

The whole dynamic makes the NCAA look like, as Tony Montana from Scarface would say, "a great, big p***y, just waiting to get f**ked".

That's because when the lights go on Saturday night at the Mandalay Bay and your TV screens, these muscular pornographic actors mixed martial artists are all going to take turns f**king the s**t out of Jenna Jameson the NCAA.





When Brandon Jennings skipped college ball to play professional basketball in Italy, he told the NCAA to go f*** themselves. When Jeremy Tyler announced that he was skipping his senior year of high school to hoop it up for pay in Europe, he told the NCAA to go f**k themselves.

And when Darnell Goodman prefers to talk about "butt naked drinking nights" rather than football when asked about his college days, he's telling the NCAA to go f**k themselves.


shout-out goes to Global Sports Fraternity

But basketball and football are big-time NCAA sports; wrestling is not.

And when products of small-time sports are gangbanging you in the rear, that's when you know that you're really getting f**ked.


We all know that Brock Lesnar, who headlines the UFC 100 card, was a two-time All-American wrestler and NCAA heavyweight champion at the University of Minnesota. Dan Henderson, also a main event fighter, was a good enough college wrestler for Cal State Fullerton and Arizona State to become a two-time Greco-Roman Olympian.

And Randy Couture, whom Lesnar beat to become UFC heavyweight champion, was a three-time NCAA All-American and two-time runner up at Oklahoma State.

What Lesnar, Hendo and Couture all have in common is that they could barely make a living with wrestling, until they entered the world of professional fighting or wrasslin'.





I think the violent and brutal nature of MMA will eventually put a limit to how big the UFC is going to get (and it probably won't become as big as the WWE, much less the NBA, NFL, MLB or soccer), but it's still going to get big nevertheless - and provide more opportunities for folks with wrestling, boxing or martial arts backgrounds to make a living.

Back in the day, if you were a wrestler, you couldn't just ignore school. There were few realistic options for you to make a good living with a wrestling background.

But the rise of the UFC and MMA is changing all that. Young men will see the success that ex-wrestlers like Brock Lesnar and Bobby Lashley are having and will try to take the most direct path to success off of their wrestling skills.

I don't necessarily foresee the emergence of a professional wrestling (not wrasslin') league that acts as a feeder to the bigger MMA organizations like the UFC or Strikeforce, but there's a good chance that the kids who would've otherwise went to college to wrestle would be joining an MMA gym to groom their overall fighting skills - because that's where the money is.




"Criminology" by Raekwon ft. Ghostface Killah
from Only Built 4 Cuban Linx

Wu-Tang knows not to f**k with Sosa; does the NCAA?


To make it even worse for the public relations machine of the NCAA, the skill set one possesses can vary so much from fighter to fighter that someone with dreams of succeeding professionally and financially doesn't even have to have a formal, dedicated wrestling background.

Sure, coming from a wrestling background is probably the fastest way to succeed as an MMA fighter, but there are also things called wrestling for MMA (i.e. what Georges St. Pierre is doing) and counterwrestling (i.e. how Thiago Alves and Anderson Silva stuff takedown attempts), so a talented high school wrestler with a knack for fighting can tailor his training to his needs and strengths.

Also, he can get a head start professionally while not having to go to school just to get a scholarship just to extend his wrestling career.

That's just another reason the NCAA is f**ked.

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